Vermont is nice, sure, but like any beloved show pony, it can become grating. Or rather, America’s preconception of Vermont can feel cloyingly wholesome. All those perfect red barns with their prize-winning cheddar and heirloom apple orchards, full of Subaru-driving, fleece-clad hiker types who will no doubt be returning to bucolic cottages where the aroma of fresh-baked sourdough and the odor of a fresh-ripped fart are indistinguishable. Must be nice to call a utopia “home,” one mutters.
I say this with love and exasperation. While there’s definitely a side of Vermont that bears resemblance to the above maple syrup-coated fantasia, the Green Mountain State is shaggier than most outsiders give it credit for. And nowhere is this funked up side of Vermont on fuller and prouder display than across The Northeast Kingdom.
As you can see from the first graphic, “The Kingdom”—that’s what locals call it—is the northeastern corner of Vermont, flanked by Quebec and the Great North Woods of New Hampshire (our last New England Deep Cut.) And the first thing you should know about The Kingdom is that everything which makes Vermont’s natural landscape so beautiful is basically cranked up to 11 here. The lumbering green hills and chuckling streams are speckled with Nordic-looking pine and spruce trees. Higher elevation in the region means that winter hits the Kingdom faster and harder than the Southern Green Mountains. Dirt roads are so ubiquitous to Kingdom living that making that sweet transition from pavement to soil is considered a form of homecoming. As of 2010, the population here was almost 64,000, in a state with roughly 622,000 year round residents at the time. On top of being visually stunning, the Kingdom is quiet.
But not too quiet. For such a vast expanse of wilderness, the Northeast Kingdom is unusually stacked with both cultural and agricultural innovation. Some of the state’s busiest dairy farms are tucked away up here, and they’re not postcard pretty. They’re big and loud and they smell like shit! But there are dividends. If you’ve experienced the pleasure of spreading Japser Hill harbison cheese on a cracker, or sniffing the grass notes of a thoughtfully-hopped pale ale from Hill Farmstead, guess what? They’re both located in the heart of the Kingdom. Specifically in the town of Greensboro. And up the road from these joints is Bread and Puppet Theater—a company of puppeteers and circus performers who stage elaborate, rambunctious performances in a natural amphitheater in the hills of Glover. But Bread and Puppet aren’t solely rooted in the Kingdom. They migrated here from New York in the 1960s and have traveled around the world, on the strength of their politically-charged shows: several of which I credit for radicalizing me against corporate power. People come here to witness the shows, but also to perform in them. One Bread and Puppet alum, Jasmila Žbanić, went on to direct the 2020 film Quo Vadis, Aida?, a chronicle of the Srenbrenica massacre during the Bosnian war. (It’s brilliant and should have won the 2020 Best Foreign Film Oscar.)
No matter where you wander in The Kingdom, the woods and waters are always close, inviting you to slip on your sandals or insulated boots and go rambling. And unlike the northern tip of New Hampshire, where ATVs and snowmobiles rule the woods, hikers aren’t a rarefied species in the Northeast Kingdom. The trails up here are broken in by locals but often overlooked by visitors who are here to canoe the frighteningly deep waters of Lake Willoughby or attempt hairpin turns on the Kingdom Trails mountain biking labyrinth of East Burke. It’s a best-of-both-worlds situation for hikers: trails that receive proper care and renovation that you’ll most likely have to yourself, especially if you travel here during the weeks of early summer, late fall, or spring, aka mud season.
Before we proceed to the goods—where to hike, where to stay, what to eat and imbibe, etc.—let’s talk about seasons. Because the Kingdom is far north and above sea level, summer is fleeting. Fall foliage up here tends to peak at the end of September or the beginning of October. From there, you can brace for freezing temperatures, snow, and ice. Since the cross-country skiing trails up here are abundant, lots of restaurants and hotels stay open through the winter, which is a lovely time to do for a snowy clomp in Kingdom woods (provided you bring traction for your feet, as I’ll keep hammering until the winter is over or until one of you asks me to shut up about traction and ice safety.)
Even if you’re happily hunkered and living your best hermit life right now, it’s not too early to earmark the Kingdom for a summer or fall expedition. So let’s get down to it…
CHOOSE A BASE CAMP
The Northeast Kingdom is quite an expanse, at around 2,030 square miles, and some of the finest hiking environments up here—the Willoughby State Forest, Groton State Forest, and the Lamoille Valley—are located in the southern half of the Kingdom. If you’re planning to set up shop for a weekend, I recommend staying in or around the towns of Greensboro, Craftsbury, Hardwick, Glover, or Burke. Each place features a charming cluster of mom and pop stores and institutions, with most of the food and lodging options scattered nearby in the hills and forests, accessible by those romantic dirt roads and the occasional local highway. Sweet trails and in the summer, sweeter swimming holes, will be well within a 20 minute drive of these potential base camps.
HIKE HERE
Mount Pisgah (Westmore, VT): Remember Willoughby, that insanely deep lake that I mentioned earlier? It’s surrounded by two dizzyingly steep mountains with sheer and sun-parched sandstone cliffs, where peregrine falcons will nest. The twin peaks are Mount Pisgah and Mount Hor (which should be uttered in a grizzled Nick Nolte voice.) Both make for strapping day hikes, but Mount Pisgah offers the better views of the 328 foot-deep lake below, with the best vista located just beyond the summit proper. Also, there’s a really good nude beach on Lake Willougby’s South Beach. Give it a try.
Devil’s Gulch (Eden, VT): One of the weirdest stretches of Vermont’s Long Trail is the path through the Devil’s Gulch, a dank mossy ravine with caves, boulder jumbles, and little cascades that trickle amid the immense ferns. It has a distinctly prehistoric vibe and I suppose the reason why it’s called the Devil’s Gulch is because every Eden needs a devil in the woods. As Lars von Trier taught us in Antichrist, nature is Satan’s church.
Mount Elmore (Elmore, VT): This modest-looking mountain offers one of the most prolific views of the Kingdom landscape looking north and the Stowe-Lake Champlain realm to the west. There’s a fire tower on the summit that you can climb, along with a precariously balanced glacial boulder near the summit, which somebody helpfully called “Balancing Rock.” Also, side note: some of the best rye and sourdough whole wheat bread in all of Vermont is crafted at a nearby bakery, Elmore Mountain Bread. Grab a loaf at Willey’s Store in Greensboro or Buffalo Mountain Co-Op in Hardwick.
Peacham Bog (Groton, VT): We’ve been here before…in a prior issue of the newsletter, that is. But I just can’t quit the peat moss and carnivorous pitcher plants of Peacham Bog. You’ll probably feel the same way after undertaking the wooded journey here and gingerly stepping across the ancient wooden bridges that are gradually being eaten by the moss from both sides. This is one of Vermont’s largest and most gorgeous bogs.
Caspian Lake (Greensboro, VT): Okay, so this isn’t a hike. It’s one of the most heavenly public swimming holes in New England. There is a path through the woods around the lake, but the real draw here is wading into the cool, clear water from the sandy beach, or if it’s sunny, taking a nap on the grassy banks of Caspian. I’ve done it several times, even on days when it was too cold to go for a dip, and I woke up feeling like Ram Dass.
EAT (OR DRINK) HERE
Blackbird Bistro (Craftsbury, VT): Everything I’ve eaten at this garden side bistro, from the tricked out burgers to the wedge salad to the sweet pea leek risotto, has been erogenous. Get there right as the doors open for dinner if you don’t want to wait. If you’re visiting in the summer, see if you can nab a “backyard” table. And check out their original cocktails. Lee Kinsey, the owner, is also the joint’s resident mixologist.
Hill Farmstead (Greensboro, VT): My favorite thing about this legendary family-run brewery isn’t the international gold medals they’ve won or the mountain views from their porch, but the sense that founder Shaun Hill is brewing whatever the fuck he feels like, market trends be damned. Their black IPA is the finest that I’ve ever tasted, and their sour farmhouse ales like “Arthur” and “Anna” can be found on local shelves.
Positive Pie (Hardwick, VT): Vermont does pizza really well. Perhaps it’s the quality of the local cheese and bread, but whatever the case, it’s hard to walk into a mediocre pie when you’re in the Kingdom. For diversity of ingredients and an easy-to-reach location, go with Positive Pie, which is right in the center of Hardwick, steps away from this cool suspension bridge over the Lamoille River (it’s decked out with flowers in the summer.)
Lost Nation Brewing (Morrisville, VT): The shopping centers of Morrisville are located at the western edge of the Kingdom, on the road to Stowe, but a massive barn on the side of Rt. 100 is the HQ of Lost Nation Brewing, whose subtly tart IPA and unsubtly tart Gose have a cult following. But the beer is just the beginning. Their dining menu features hefty salads and heftier barbecue. Locally sourced because…it’s Vermont.
STAY HERE
Beyond the town recommendations noted earlier, I’m not going to be as much help here because on most of my visits to the Kingdom, I’ve shacked up with friends in Greensboro. But there are quite a few private campgrounds in the Kingdom and if you’re seeking fancier digs, I can recommend two places. Highland Lodge, which overlooks Caspian Lake, is a historic and recently renovated B&B with cozy and reasonably priced rooms (and a shitload of groomed cross country skiing trails on their grounds during the winter, if that’s your thing.) And over near Burke, there’s the Wildflower Inn, which is replete with wildflowers and offers guests complimentary blueberry pancakes, which I’m told are extremely good (I don’t do fruit pancakes.)
Finally, I’d like to close this newsletter issue with a fact that I believe demonstrates the draw of the Northeast Kingdom and its many surprises. You know who lives up here? Luis Guzmán, the great character actor whom you’ve no doubt seen in films such as Boogie Nights, Traffic, and Out of Sight. In an interview with VTDigger, Guzmán said that he fell in love with the area as a teenager, while on a field trip from New York to Goddard College with several fellow Puerto Rican teenagers. “I discovered a new sense of freedom when I came up here,” Guzmán told VTDigger. “The fresh air, the vibe, growing your own food, solar energy. These guys were doing all that type of stuff. I was going to the quarry and swimming and everybody was butt naked. Oh, hell, yeah!”